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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escorts! Nasal nagging voice on, duh! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie “Her” – ya know, that weirdo flick where Joaquin falls for his phone? Hah! Escorts tho, they’re real people, not some sexy Siri voice. I mean, escorts… they’re like, pros at makin lonely folks happy, right? “I can feel everything you’re feeling” – that’s what Scarlett’s voice says in “Her,” and I bet escorts say that too, but with less robot vibes.

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After that, I headed to the park by the river. It’s so pretty there, especially in the spring. I sat on a bench, just chillin’, when I noticed a couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting over...wait for it...who left the lights on! I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I almost laughed out loud.

Cases of torture in the Kaharlyk police department: SBI initiated 50 examinations and conducted over 100 interrogations