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About Mykolaiv

Humor? Shit, one time this guy farted mid-massage—loud as a damn bomb! I laughed so hard I nearly kicked the table over. “It’s all happening,” my ass—more like “it’s all stinkin’!” Sarcasm aside, sexual-massage is dope—relaxes ya, gets ya off, whatever. Just don’t be a cheapskate, tip the damn worker, or I’ll come for ya, screamin’, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!” Now, go try it, losers—tell ‘em Cartman sent ya!

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I finally clock out, and I’m walking home down Haharina Street, just soaking it all in. The sun’s setting, and the sky’s all pink and orange. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today wasn’t so bad.”

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