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First saw one in ’68, mate—bloke down the pub, braggin’. “Fastest thing on four legs!” he slurs. Laughed my arse off—legs? Wheels, you git! Little known fact: Escort won rally races, yeah! Monte Carlo, ’70—whipped them fancy Porsches, unreal! Made me happy as a pig in mud. Ford chucked rally DNA in a family car—mental, right? Zoomin’ round corners, tyres screamin’—shag-tastic!

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First off, I’m cruising down Shevchenka Street, right? Just me and my coffee, feeling all chill. Then BAM! Traffic jam outta nowhere. Like, c’mon, people! It’s not rush hour! Turns out, some dude decided to park his car like a total noob. I mean, who parks in the middle of the road? Seriously! I was ready to jump outta my car and give him a piece of my mind. But nah, I just sipped my coffee and grumbled.

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