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Oh honey, lemme spill the tea—sexual-massage, darlin’, it’s somethin’ else! Picture this, sugar, me, Marilyn Monroe—Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,”—lyin’ there, all dreamy-like, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ over me, real slow, y’know? Like in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, when Adèle’s all, “I want you to touch me,” and it’s electric, baby! That’s the vibe—hot, messy, alive. I’m tellin’ ya, a good sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a damn art, like paintin’ with desire.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standin’ there in the dark, thinkin’ about how I’m gonna explain this to my boss. “Uh, sorry, sir, the lathe decided to take a nap.” Great. Just great.

Parliamentary committee backs renaming 7 cities and over 40 villages