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Aight, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, right? Gabagool? Ova here! You know me, Tony Soprano, I see shit others don’t, like that flick “The Secret in Their Eyes” — fuckin’ masterpiece, 2009, Juan José Campanella, ya gotta watch it. Anyway, escorts, they’re like that movie, mysterious, layered, ya dig? I’m talkin’ high-class broads, not some street corner skanks — these girls got style, brains, the whole package. Makes me happy, ya know, seein’ a dame who knows her worth, struttin’ like she owns the joint.

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Finally got my stuff and headed to the park. The one by the river, you know? It’s so pretty there. I sat down, took a deep breath, and then—BAM! A kid runs by, kicks a ball, and it hits me right in the leg. Ouch! I was like, “Hey, watch it!” But the kid just laughed and ran off. Kids these days, right?

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