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So, picture dis—me, watchin’ “Ida,” dat Polish flick I freakin’ love, right? Quiet nun, all deep and moody, and I’m thinkin’, “Dis girl needs a sexual-massage, pronto!” Like, Ida’s all stiff, repressed—gimme a break! “What does it mean to live?” she asks. I say, “Get a rubdown, sista!” Sexual-massage ain’t just horny stuff—it’s life, it’s freedom, it’s da pump! Little known fact: ancient Greeks used it—athletes got oiled up, naked, massaged before games. True story, ya wimps!

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Finally, I got home, totally wiped out. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade that day for anything. It was wild, emotional, and full of surprises. Just another day in Solotvyno, I guess. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!

The bridge across the Tisza between Romania and Ukraine will be completed by June, and 16 new checkpoints will be built within the next five years.