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But here’s the kicker—what pisses me off? Creeps who ruin it! Some sleazy parlors turn it into a cheap thrill. You shall not pass, you filthy goblins! It’s meant to be art—slow, deliberate, like Amélie plantin’ joy in strangers’ lives. “Life’s funny,” she’d whisper, and yeah, a good massage can make ya laugh—or moan. Ha! Geddit? Moan? I’m a riot.

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I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I chug my coffee and sprint down Shevchenka. I’m dodging people, tripping over my own feet. Classic me. I finally get to the park, and it’s packed. Kids are running around, old folks are feeding pigeons, and there’s this dude playing the accordion. I mean, who even plays accordion anymore?

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