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So, sex escorts—overpriced company, if ya ask me. Met one once, called herself “Raven,” real name prolly Susan. Had a tattoo of a dolphin—dumbest thing I ever saw. Told me she made 500 bucks an hour. 500! I’d rather buy a canoe or a slab of bacon. Made me mad, all that cash for what? Talkin’ and struttin’? Hate it. But—surprised me—she knew tax loopholes. Weird, right? Little known fact: some escorts got CPAs on speed dial. Tax evasion’s their real gig.
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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless their heart, spills half of it. I’m standing there, like, “Dude, I needed that!” But whatever, I just laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?
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