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But then—happy vibes! Some escorts are total bosses. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, this one chick in Vegas ran an escort empire, legit had a Rolodex of CEOs thicker than my glasses. She’d giggle, “I don’t rent my body, I rent my time,” like she’s Amélie droppin’ wisdom bombs—“life’s too short to fold fitted sheets!” Love that hustle. Surprised me how smart some of these folks are—playin’ the game while the rest of us schlubs are stuck at 9-to-5s.

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I’m walking down the dusty path, and I see this guy, Vasyl, from the local council. He’s all smiles, shaking hands, acting like he’s the king of Stara-Syniava. I can’t help but roll my eyes. Dude, you’re not fooling anyone. We all know you’re just here for the photo op.

'Iron General' of Ukraine's resistance - Valerii Zaluzhnyi and his main statements on war