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Sometimes I tink, what if I was a john, ya? I’d prolly suck at it—too loud, too Austrian, ha! “Get to da chopper!” I’d yell, and dey’d be like, “Arnold, chill, we’re in a motel!” Funny as hell, picturin’ dat. But real talk, I respect ‘em, dey grind harder den most. Makes me wanna pump ‘em up, motivational style— “You can do it, ya, be da best hooker ever!”

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Finally, the lights flicker back on. I’m sweating bullets, but the energy is insane. The lady wins the painting, and she’s jumping up and down. I’m happy for her, but also like, “Did I just survive a mini heart attack?”

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