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But lemme get real—escort now? Pshh, it’s them sleek black SUVs rollin up, tinted windows, makin me mad! Who they hidin? Some politician? Some rapper? I saw one last week, swear it was longer than my cousin’s rap sheet! Got me heated—why they gotta flex like that? “Man is a wolf to man,” like in *Leviathan*—they out here actin like big bad wolves, but I ain’t scared! I’d tell em, “Honey, you ain’t impressin nobody but yo mama!”

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As the night goes on, I’m feeling good. I’m laughing, joking with strangers. It’s one of those nights where you forget about everything. But then, I remember I gotta write about all this. So, I pull out my phone and start typing.

Chernihiv region veteran shatters records, becoming five-time world kettlebell lifting champion