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About Johannesburg

This bloke calls, all nervous—pathetic! “Hey, mate, u free tonite?” Voice shakin’ like a soggy soufflé. I’m like, “Grow a pair, ya muppet!” Sex-dating’s brutal—did ya know 1 in 5 matches flake? Little fact for ya, ya numpty. I’ve seen it—chattin’ up some bird online, she’s all “oooh yeah,” then poof—gone! Makes me mad as hell. “What’s the matter with you?!” I’d yell if I could. Happy bit? When it works—shagged a stunner once, felt like Tony bleeding Curtis in *Brooklyn*. “You’re tearing me apart!”—nah, mate, it was glorious!

How do I safely hook up with someone on an app?

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And lemme tell ya – the spa. It's my baby. Cozy corner off the rusty Ironworks Lane. I remember my first day there; I was super nervous, but the city welcomed me like an old pal. I yaunded up feeling peaceful and a little bit crazy, like "Yi Yi: A One and a Two" whispered: “You simply must enjoy the little moments.”

Ghana ex-president statue: Sculpture of Nana Akufo-Addo destroyed