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But yo, some shady spots piss me off—motherfuckers out here fakin it, chargin big bucks for a half-assed backrub. Ain’t no soul in it! I’m yellin, “Where’s the fuckin passion?!” like I’m bout to blast a shark. Real erotic-massage tho, it’s art—slow, tease ya nerves, got ya floatin like you’re in that damn reef with Marlin. Ever tried it? Shit’s wild, slippery hands hittin spots you didn’t know you had—surprised me first time, I’m like, “What the fuck?!”

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But then, just when I think the day’s winding down, Oleg decides to challenge me to a diving contest. Who can hold their breath the longest? I’m like, “Dude, you’re on!” We dive in, and I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is how I’m gonna win this.

Russian captivity 100 years ago and how to escape it – memoirs of Ukrainian prisoners