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Weirdest thing? Some use feathers. Feathers! Ticklin’ ya into a frenzy—stupidest shit I ever heard. And oils? Stink like a hippie’s armpit. Hate it. But gotta admit, the knots in my shoulders? Might loosen up. Still, I’d rather die. One time, heard this story—guy got an erotic-massage, slipped off the table, broke his damn nose. Laughed my ass off. Serves him right, the perv.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Vulytsia Haharina, and I see this old dude trying to fix his bike. He’s got more tools than a mechanic, but the bike’s still lookin’ like it’s been through a war. I stop to help, right? Turns out, he just wanted to chat about the good ol’ days. I’m like, “Dude, I got places to be!” But he’s all, “Back in my day…” and I’m just nodding, pretending to care.

Russian progress in Chasiv Yar and Kupiansk is shrouded in silence