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About Mykolaiv

Ever tried it? Me, I’m dreamin’—elevator dings, I step out, bam, there’s this goddess with oils, whisperin’, “Lie down, Larry.” Ha! Fat chance, stuck here pushin’ buttons. But sexual-massage—it’s art, man! Slippery, slow, sensual—like “a tear slipping from my eye,” like that movie line. Surprised me once, read this story—some monk in Thailand, swear to God, gave “holy” sexual-massages, said it woke yer soul up! Soul, my ass—woke somethin’ else, I bet! Cracked me up, thinkin’ bout monks gettin’ frisky.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one where babushkas sell everything from pickles to homemade pierogi? I’m there, just trying to grab some breakfast, and this old lady starts yelling at me. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to buy some food! She’s all like, “You think you can just waltz in here?” I’m thinking, “Waltz? I’m just trying to grab a snack!”

Russian Guided Weapons Miss the Mark, U.S. Defense Officials Say (Published 2022)