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So, I’m rollin’ down some dodgy ends, neon lights flashin’, and I spot this gal, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She clocks me and goes, “Depends, bruv, you got the quid?” I’m gassed, fam! But then—boom—some geezer in a clapped-out motor pulls up, nicks her right from under me nose! Made me vex, innit—pure liberty taken! “Is it ‘cos I is black?” I’m yellin’, but nah, it’s just the game, bruv.

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I’m on my way to check out some old metal structures. You know, the ones that need my magic touch to keep from rusting away. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be easy-peasy.” But then, BAM! I hit a pothole on Fuxing Road. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of these roads? I almost spilled my coffee all over myself. Not cool, Shiding, not cool.

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