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About Nitra

So, here’s the deal—sexual-massage, it’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome had these oily rubdowns, senators gettin’ freaky with slaves, callin’ it “therapy.” Ha! Therapy my ass—greed is good, and they knew it. Fast forward, I tried one in Bangkok once—lady had hands like a goddamn ninja, swear she unlocked my spine *and* my soul. Made me happy as hell, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this legal everywhere? Puritans, man, they fuck up everything. Little fact for ya—Japan’s got this thing, “nuru,” slimey seaweed gel, slippery as shit—sounds weird, feels like heaven. Surprised me first time, thought I’d slide off the damn table!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this group of teenagers on the other side of the beach. They’re blasting music from a speaker, and it’s some weird mix of pop and techno. I’m tryin’ to focus on my lifeguard duties, but all I can hear is “BEEP BEEP BOOP” and I’m like, “What even is this?” I swear, if I hear that song one more time, I might just dive in and never come back up.

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