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Yo, what’s good, fam? Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, imagine this—hands sliding, oil dripping, vibes all sensual and shit. I’m Eric Andre, chaotic absurdity king, so I see the madness others miss. Like, who invented this? Some horny genius, probs. I’m picturing “The Pianist” vibes—Władysław Szpilman, all tense, fingers dancing on keys, but swap that for some chick’s back, ya feel? “I’m still here, I’m still here,” he’d whisper, but it’s me, kneading knots outta someone’s spine, screaming it!

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So, I keep walking, and I’m like, “Let’s grab some coffee.” I pop into this little café on Špitálska. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this wild hair and a tattoo of a coffee cup on his arm. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a sprinkle of magic?” I’m like, “Dude, I just want caffeine!” But I laughed.

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