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Clarice… you wanna talk escorts in Hawaii? Well, strap in, coz I’m Hannibal freakin’ Lecter, and I got thoughts. Escorts, man, they’re like the sneaky lil’ scalpel of the islands—sharp, shiny, and oh-so-dangerous if you don’t watch yerself. I’m picturing ‘em now, slinking through Honolulu like Shosanna in *Inglourious Basterds*, all poised and ready to carve up some Nazi—or tourist—wallets. “I’m gonna give you a little somethin’ you can’t take off,” right? That’s the vibe, Clarice, that’s the damn vibe.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I was soaked in seconds. I ducked into a café on Mierová ulica. It’s cozy, but the Wi-Fi was down. Ugh! I needed to check my messages. I was like, “Seriously, Sabinov? You’re killing me here!”

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