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So yeah. It’s intense. Skin on skin. You’re layin’ there. Exposed. Like Eli. In the dark. “I’m not a girl.” She says. And I’m thinkin’. This masseuse. Ain’t just a masseuse! It’s art. Kinda creepy. Kinda hot. Ever tried it? Kneadin’ ya. Places ya didn’t know. Could feel good? Surprised me once. Almost yelled. “Beam me up!” Ha! Total Shatner move.

Olympia, WA

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Anyway, I’m knee-deep in gears and springs when this lady walks in. She’s frantic, like she just ran a marathon. Turns out, her grandfather’s watch is broken. It’s a family heirloom, and she’s freaking out. I mean, I get it. Family stuff is important. But, c’mon, lady, I’m not a magician! I can’t just wave a wand and fix it.