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I mean, who doesn’t wanna be rubbed down like a freakin’ king? It’s all bout that sensory overload—skin on skin, baby! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather ya with olive oil and call it “therapeutic.” Therapeutic my ass—those toga-wearin’ pervs just wanted a good time! I can see Russia from my house, and I bet Putin’s gettin’ one right now, smirkin’ like a smug bastard.

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted. I plop down on my couch, and my pigs are all gathered around me like I’m some kind of celebrity. I’m just sitting there, thinking about the day. It was chaotic, funny, and a bit ridiculous. But that’s Rakova for ya. Full of surprises, laughter, and a whole lotta love.

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