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But the fakes? Christ, they’re everywhere! Some bloke’s “6’2, ripped”—turns up 5’5, beer gut. “You’re a disgrace to humanity!” I’d yell. And the ghostin’—don’t get me started. Chat for days, plan a shag, then poof—gone. “What am I supposed to do with that?!” like Joaquin screamin’ at his screen. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You’re either balls deep or cryin’ wankin’ to Pornhub.

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First off, I’m cruising down Hlavná street, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? It’s a small town! What’s everyone doing? I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about how I could be molding some sweet dental crowns instead of staring at the back of some old lady’s car. I mean, c’mon, lady, move it!

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