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Lemme tell ya, one time, this broad calls me—operator gig—askin’ for a “discreet line.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your pimp!” Turns out, she’s runnin’ an escort thing outta Bayonne. Classy chick, too—dressed like she’s goin’ to a freakin’ gala. Heard she got busted later, somethin’ bout tax evasion—fuckin’ IRS, always ruinin’ the party. Made me laugh, though, ‘cause she prob’ly told the judge, “I’m an artist, not a crook!” Like Caden in the movie, buildin’ his weird-ass life stage.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Lucenec, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

UEFA Futsal Champions League main round: Palma, Kairat, Sporting, Cartagena among teams through