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But here’s the kicker—what pisses me off? Creeps who ruin it! Some sleazy parlors turn it into a cheap thrill. You shall not pass, you filthy goblins! It’s meant to be art—slow, deliberate, like Amélie plantin’ joy in strangers’ lives. “Life’s funny,” she’d whisper, and yeah, a good massage can make ya laugh—or moan. Ha! Geddit? Moan? I’m a riot.

Bratislava

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Finally, I get through. I’m buzzin’ with excitement. Gelnica’s got this old-school charm. The buildings are all colorful, like a box of crayons exploded. I pass by the church on Námestie, and it’s just stunning. I mean, who doesn’t love a good steeple? But then, I see this dude trying to park his car. He’s all over the place, like he’s never seen a steering wheel before. I’m like, “C’mon, man! It’s not rocket science!”

Teen girl sets man on fire and goes back to school next day