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So, sexual-massage – it’s the bee’s knees, innit? Been around since the ‘60s, maybe longer, who knows? Little factoid for ya – them ancient Greeks were mad for it, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ bods to get the juices flowin’. Makes me happy as a clam, thinkin’ bout them toga-wearin’ cats gettin’ frisky with olive oil – far out! But what gets me riled up? When some square says it’s all dodgy – nah, mate, it’s therapy with a twist, keeps the pipes from rustin’, if ya catch my drift!

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Luka. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a guy dressed as a giant carrot running down the street. I’m like, “Dude, are you high?” But he swears it’s true. I can’t even.

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