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I dove into sex-dating once—total disaster, I swear! This dude’s profile screamed “bad boy,” and I’m like, “Ooh, danger’s my jam!” Met up, and he’s got a unibrow and a vibe like stale bread. Made me wanna yell, “You’re no prophet, bro!” Total letdown. But then, there’s the flip—met a chick once who was all fire. Sparks flew, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, I’m in the movie!” She ghosted me after. Pissed me off so bad I nearly chucked my phone. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re winning, half you’re crying.

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Kolpa River, man, it’s beautiful. I sit on a bench, just chilling. I see this old couple feeding ducks. They’re so cute! Makes me think about love and stuff. But then, a duck gets too close, and the lady freaks out. She’s screaming, “Get away!” I’m dying laughing.

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