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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? What a bloody treat! Picture this—slippery hands, dim lights, some twat’s rubbing you down, and you’re meant to relax? Piss off! I’m lying there, thinking, “This is Joy from Inside Out, innit?” All happy and tingly, like she’s bouncing round me head! Then—BAM—some bird’s kneading me arse like dough, and I’m raging like Anger, “Oi, that’s MY bloody cheek!” Costs a bomb too, fifty quid for a fumble? Robbery!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I head back out. I’m walking down Ulica Cankarjeva, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I toss him a couple of coins, and he gives me a nod. I feel like a hero for a second.

Minister Černač: “I believe that also the next financial perspective will bring projects that generate added value.”