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So, escort’s sittin’ at, what, $12-ish today? Up, down, who knows—gold’s a diva. I’m happy when it spikes, like, “Yes, baby, gimme that profit!” But then it dips, and I’m ragin’—screamin’ at my screen, “Why you gotta do me like that?!” Reminds me of Adèle in the movie, all passion and chaos, y’know? “You’re my exception,” I whisper to escort when it rallies. Total drama queen move, I know.

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I decide to hit up that little bar on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. You know the one with the neon lights? I need a drink after that chaos. I order a beer, and the bartender, bless her soul, gives me a free shot. I’m like, “Is this a reward for surviving the day?” She just winks.

Fig. 1. The forest area (grey) in Slovenia and distribution of the...