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Oh, and the weirdos—met this one chick, swore she was a miner too, said she’d “dig my shaft”—I’m like, “Yo, that’s corny!” but I laughed, couldn’t help it. Sex-dating’s got jokes, awkward shit, but it’s raw—keeps me hyped! Like Remy sayin’, “Change is nature,”—you gotta roll with it, fam! Apps crash, dates flop, but when it hits? Pure gold, like minin’ a vein nobody saw comin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a traffic jam on Ulica Mladosti. Like, seriously? It’s a Tuesday! But nope, there’s a parade. A freakin’ parade! I’m stuck on the phone with some lady who’s late for her dentist appointment. “I can’t be late! I need my fillings!” Lady, I can’t make the parade disappear!