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About Celje

So, sex-dating – it’s like harvestin’ randos! You swipe, grunt, trip over yer own feet – oops! – and hope they don’t ghost ya. I tried it once, right? Profile says “loves beans” – me thinkin’ tinned ones, not, erm, *me*! Hah! Met this lass, all flirty, but she brought a bleedin’ cat! Cat stares, I fumble, spill me tea – disaster! “Time flows like water,” movie says, but this? Time froze, mate!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from the other side of town. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the new park on Cesta 2.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m stuck in this meeting!” But he’s persistent. “Trust me, it’s lit!”