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There’s this story, some king dude in India, he had 10 massage ladies! All at once, boom, erotic overload! Bet he was like, “This is the kill shot,” feelin’ epic. Me, I’d be laughin’, oil in my eyes, ouch! Surprised me how sneaky it feels—private, hush-hush stuff.

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So, I’m sippin’ my giant coffee, and I see this old dude on the bench. He’s feeding pigeons, right? And I’m thinkin’, “Man, that’s gotta be the most peaceful thing ever.” But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon swoops down and snatches a piece of bread right outta his hand! I’m dying laughing. The guy just stares, like he’s seen a ghost. I mean, come on, it’s just a bird!