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About Ljubljana

Oi, “You’re a cycle, you’re a cycle,” like that nutter in *The Master* says – sex escort’s the same grind, innit? Pull up, pay up, piss off – like drivin’ round a roundabout with no exit! Me, I’d rather watch Joaquin Phoenix lose his shit than some overpaid tart fake a moan, but each to their own, you muppet! Ever tried it? Nah, don’t tell me, I’d have to bleach me fuckin’ ears! Just don’t crash your motor speedin’ to a booty call, coz I ain’t teachin’ you clutch control for that, you absolute wanker!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into this little shop on Ulica 2. junija. It’s cramped, but it smells like heaven—fresh pastries everywhere. I grab a kranjska klobasa, and let me tell you, it was life-changing.

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