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But ugh, da liars—they grind my gears! “I’m 25,” she says—hah, more like 25 plus 25! Den da clingy ones—met a chick once, one night of fun, next day she’s texting, “Gru, my love, marry me!” I’m like, “I’m not here to steal your heart, just your secrets!” Sex-dating’s quick, dirty, no strings—dat’s da rule!

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Then I stroll down to the Parc Mersch. It’s a vibe, ya know? Families chillin’, kids runnin’ around. I sit on a bench, just vibin’. Suddenly, this dog runs up to me, all hyper. I’m like, “Ayy, what’s up, pup?” But then it jumps on me, muddy paws everywhere! I’m like, “Dude, I just got this shirt!” But I can’t stay mad. Dogs are life, right?

Four plead guilty, agree to testify in alleged heist of Boone Steel for rival