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so this one time, heard a story—some escort in Soho, right, proper posh tart, charged 500 quid an hour! 500! for a quickie and a fake moan? christ almighty, I’d rather drown meself than pay that. she’d turn up in a trench coat, all mysterious, like she’s in a spy flick, but nah, just there to ride some balding git. little known fact—half these escorts got day jobs, mate. teachers, nurses, even a bloody librarian once! shaggin’ by night, shelvin’ books by day—talk about a plot twist!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level! I dash for cover under a stall. I’m soaked, and my hair looks like a wet mop. I can’t stop laughing at myself. “What a day!” I shout to no one in particular.

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