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what suprised me – right, listen – is how some escorts are proper clever. uni grads, artists, the lot! one bird i read about, she’s payin her way through med school, shaggin blokes on the side. fair play, i say, but christ, imagine the stress! i’d be knackered, me – i can barely handle a tesco shop without losin it. gets me happy tho, seein folk hustle like that, beats the 9-to-5 bollocks. still, the stigma’s a killer – folk sneerin, “oh, she’s a slag” – winds me up somethin fierce. hypocrites, all of em!

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So, we run back to the house, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s dry off and have some hot chocolate.” But of course, they want to make it themselves. I’m like, “Sure, what could go wrong?” Spoiler alert: everything. Chocolate everywhere! I’m talking walls, floor, even the dog is covered in cocoa. I’m losing it, but then they start giggling, and I can’t help but laugh too.

Figure 2. Postojnska jama is a tourist cave, but there are still many...