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Still, I’d give it a whirl, maybe. *mutters* If I weren’t so scaly an’ weird. Probs exaggerate me profile tho – “Gollum, ripped, loves cuddles!” *cackles* Reckon I’d scare ‘em all off! Anyway, precious, that’s sex-dating – mad, bad, an’ a bit brill. Like Pan’s Labyrinth, it’s a fairy tale gone wrong – but ya can’t stop watchin’! What’s yer take, eh? Spill it!

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Then, bam! My phone rings again. It’s my buddy Marko. He’s stuck in traffic on Slovenska cesta. “Help me, man! I’m gonna be late for work!” I’m like, “Dude, just take a shortcut through Tivoli Park!” But he’s all, “I don’t know the way!” I’m like, “Seriously? Just follow the signs!”

Ljubljana secures EU funding for 16 electric buses to modernise public transport