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Gets me blood boiling when blokes reckon it’s dodgy, tho. Like, “Ooh, it’s sleazy!” Nah, you muppet, it’s art! Relaxes ya, sorts yer stress – better than a bleedin’ PowerPoint sesh. I was buzzing after, happier than Sam and Suzy running off into the woods, y’know? “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing” – that’s me, tryna explain it to the lads at the pub. They’re clueless, sipping pints, while I’m enlightened, oil still glistening on me back!

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But whatever, I’m not gonna let that ruin my vibe. I grab a drink, and I’m just soaking it all in. The vibe is electric! I even join a dance circle. I can’t dance to save my life, but who cares? I’m just living in the moment.

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