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Oi, personal quirk—I’d kill for one after a shit day. Screamin’ at idiots all day, then bam—hands on me, slippin’ south, and I’m like, “Cheers, mate, you’ve saved me!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? It’s raw, it’s real—none of that prissy spa crap. So yeah, sexual-massage—fuckin’ brilliant, fuckin’ messy, just like life. “Pull yourself together!”—nah, let it unravel, you muppet!

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We are going to tell you where to get a happy ending massage in Kuala Lumpur and what it costs. Walking around Kuala Lumpur all day can give you a sore back and tender feet. Looking at Missing: Litija.

Finally, I made it back to my car, drenched but alive. I cranked up the music and drove through the streets of Litija, feeling a mix of anger and joy. I mean, this city is a rollercoaster! One minute you’re getting elbowed for bread, the next you’re soaking wet under a tree, and then you’re jamming to your favorite tunes.

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