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I tried it once, right? Thought, “Brent, you’re a visionary, treat yerself!” Booked this place – dodgy neon sign, smelt of lavender and regret. Lass comes in, all oils and whispers, and I’m like, “This is me moment!” She starts, and I’m in heaven – happy as a pig in muck. Then she hits this spot – oof, me sciatica flares up! I’m yellin’, “Bloody hell, I’m not a bleedin’ pretzel!” She’s all calm, “Relax, sir,” and I’m fumin’ – but then it clicks, yeah? Pain’s gone. Magic hands, mate. Surprised me socks off – thought I’d be crippled for life.

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After that, I stroll down Ulica 1. maja. It’s a cute street, lined with lil shops and street art. I’m admiring this mural of a giant cat when I hear a commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I’m talking flaming torches, people! I’m like, “This guy’s gonna set himself on fire!” But nah, he nails it. The crowd goes wild, and I’m clapping like a seal.