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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor, I’m all flustered already. Me, Boris, head of the lab, waffling on. Imagine me, bumbling about, Latin flying—*Cave felis*, beware the cat! Right, so, erotic-massage—bloody brilliant, innit? Proper relaxation, muscles melting like butter. Saw this lass once, hands like magic. Not dodgy, mind—classy, *ars gratia artis*, art for art’s sake!

TOTAL RELAXATION and REVITALIZATION.

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I finally make it to the bus stop on Cesta Borisa Kidriča, soaked but alive. I’m waiting for the bus, and it’s late. Of course! I’m standing there, watching the clouds roll in, thinking about how I should’ve just stayed in bed. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair and a shopping bag that looks like it’s been through a war. She starts chatting me up about the best places to get štruklji. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to survive here!” But she’s relentless.

Epidemiologist's assessment: The coronavirus epidemic in Slovenia is calming down