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My fave part? When they git them feet—ooh, I’m ticklish as all get-out! Gigglin’ like a fool, thinkin’, “Maybe I’m the purtiest gal in this room!”—self-deprecatin’, sure, but I got spunk! Funniest thing—heard some fellas in Japan pay big bucks fer fish to nibble toes durin’ a rubdown! I’d be screamin’, “Say ‘auf wiedersehen’ to yer sanity!”—Tarantino’d love that twist! Sexual-massage ain’t just fer the bedroom, y’all—it’s a dang adventure! So git ya one, sugar—tell ‘em Dolly sent ya!

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Then, I see this old dude on the side, just sittin’ there, lookin’ all grumpy. I’m thinkin’, “What’s his deal?” Turns out, he’s the previous owner of a painting we’re auctioning. He’s not happy about it. I mean, I get it. It’s tough to let go of stuff. But c’mon, man, it’s just a painting!

Slovakian man mauled to death by lions at his own zoo