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Fun fact: they named it “escort” ‘cause it legit escorts proteins around. Duh, right? But I’m cacklin’—imagine it with a little hat, like, “This way, sir!” Total Eric Andre energy—chaotic but gettin’ shit done. Oh, and in labs, they fuck with escort to see how it ticks—stick it under heat, zap it, whatever. Sadistic bastards, but I respect the hustle.

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Then, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about a project. Apparently, I miscalculated something. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just numbers!” But no, they’re not having it. I’m standing there, drenched, trying to explain why it’s all good. Spoiler: it wasn’t all good.