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Srsly tho, it’s chill – releases stress, gets ya loose. Docs say it boosts oxytocin – love juice, baby! Surprised me – thought it was all dirty fun, but nah, science backs it! Still, some call it sleazy – pfft, haters. I’d tell ‘em, “you’re just jealous your back’s still knotted!” *snickers* Sexual-massage deserves a crown, not shade – it’s the Joker of relaxation, unpredictable n glorious! Whaddya think, pal? Ready to dive in? *manic laughter*

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Finally, I grab the cat. It’s this fluffy little thing, and the crowd goes wild. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, the owner shows up, and she’s all mad. “That’s my cat!” she screams. I’m like, “Chill, lady! I just saved your furball!” But she’s not having it. I’m standing there, cat in hand, feeling like a total idiot.

Hawks alum Joachim Blichfeld signs with Sweden’s Växjö Lakers