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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout Escort, ya know, that car Ford churned out like cheap bread. Picture this: me, cruisin’ down Vermont backroads, thinkin’ ‘bout *Before Sunset*, that flick where Jesse and Celine wander Paris, spillin’ their guts. “Time is a lie!” Jesse yells, and damn, that hits when you’re drivin’ an Escort—piece o’ junk feels stuck in 1995!

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We’re laughing, joking, and then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s freaking out, and I’m just standing there, beer in hand, like, “Is this for real?” Turns out, it was a false alarm. Phew! But the vibe is ruined. People start leaving, and I’m like, “C’mon, we were just getting started!”

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