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Still, some o’ ‘em? Crafty as pirates! Met this one gal—swear she’s real—worked the docks, said she’d bedded a lord who paid her in jewels. “This is our chance!” she’d hollered, like in the movie, then pawned ‘em fer a fortune. Clever minx! Made me grin, thinkin’ how she outfoxed the toff. Ain’t all grim, then—some got wit sharper’n me cutlass. Tho, gotta say, suprised me how many blokes—an’ lasses!—hire ‘em just to talk. Lonely sods, wantin’ a ear, not a lay. “Why me?” I mutters, scratchin’ me beard. World’s gone mad, eh?

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First off, I hit up the market on Torggatan. You know, the one with all the stalls? I’m just tryin’ to grab some bread and cheese, keep it simple. But nah, the cheese guy, he’s all outta my fave. I’m like, “Dude, what gives?” He just shrugs. I’m fumin’ inside. Like, how hard is it to keep cheese stocked? I mean, c’mon, it’s cheese!

Report: Filip Hallander Headed Back To NHL Next Season