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I’m pissed, tho—why’s it gotta be so transactional? Where’s the *vibe*? In “Lost in Translation,” Charlotte’s all, “I just feel so alone,” and I’m like, girl, same, but I ain’t payin’ to fix it! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact: ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred sex workers, like, “Praise the gods, here’s my ass!” Imagine animatin’ THAT—togas flappin’, clients prayin’. Hilarious, but kinda dope.

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the project.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he wants me to lead a new initiative. I’m like, “Sweet, but also, why me?” I mean, I’m just trying to survive the day here!

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