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So, check it—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever. It’s a jungle out there, yeah? Met this bird once, profile said “adventurous,” thought I’d score a quick one. Turns up, she’s got a bloody tarantula as a “date idea.” Noped out faster than you can say “vodka martini.” Made me proper angry—false advertising, that! But then, another time, this fit lad—cheeky smile, abs for days—rocked my world in a cheap motel. Happy? Mate, I was buzzin’—like, “the forest swallows you whole” good.

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After work, I’m finally free! I head over to Rua do Comércio, and wow, the street art is insane! There’s this massive mural of a lion, and it’s so vibrant. I snap a pic for the ‘gram. Gotta show off, right? But then, I see this guy trying to sell me some weird trinket. I’m like, “Nah, man, I’m good.” But he keeps pushing it. I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m not buying your junk!”

Happening At SALA March 3-9, 2025