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I got into this scene once—mate of mine swore it’d fix my back. Walked in all skeptical, like, “This some dodgy spa crap?” But nah, this chick’s hands? Magic. Like she’s kneading dough but it’s my soul gettin’ worked. Little known fact—ancient Greeks were mad for this, called it “anatripsis.” Warriors gettin’ oiled up, not just for flexin’ but for healin’. Wild, right? Bet they didn’t expect it’d turn into this sensual shindig.

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So, I roll up to the beach at Fagersta Strand, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be chill.” But nah, not even close. First off, I’m settin’ up my station, and I see this kid, like, 10 years old, runnin’ around like a headless chicken. He’s on Storgatan, just sprintin’ towards the water. I’m like, “Dude, slow down!” But he’s got that wild look in his eyes.

The Hives are playing at Kings Theatre in Brooklyn on September 24th