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About Helsingborg

Me fave bit? The hunt, precious! Scrollin’, stalkin’ profiles—ooh, she’s fit! He’s dodgy! Typin’ “hey sexy” with me grubby fingers—14 typos, prolly, coz I’m rushin’, all excited! Once sent “wanna bang?” to a nun—profile said “spiritual,” oops! Laughed me head off, then cried a bit. Gollum’s a fool, ain’t he? Hiss! Surprised me how many fakes there are—catfish everywhere, stealin’ pics, lyin’. One time, met a “model”—turned up, bloke with a beard! “You love your job, don’t ya?” I hissed, like in the film—sarcasm dripin’ like venom.

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So, I’m strolling, right? And I see this cute little café on the corner of Bunkeflostrandsgatan. I’m like, “Cool, let’s grab a coffee.” I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, who knew this place was the hotspot? I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting, and he tells me about the local art scene. Apparently, there’s a gallery down by the beach. I’m like, “Beach? Where?!”

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