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Financially? Total dumpster fire. Buyin’ an Escort now is like throwin’ cash in a toilet and flushin’ twice. Depreciation hit it like a fat kid on a seesaw—BOOM, gone! Used ones go for, what, 500 bucks? Maybe 1000 if some hipster’s tryna be ironic. I’d rather invest in a bag of Cheesy Poofs than that junk. “You don’t get it, I’m an entrepreneur!”—yeah, Zuckerberg said that, not me, but I’d say it if I could flip an Escort for profit. Ain’t happenin’, tho.

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After my caffeine fix, I rush back to the office. I’m late, and my boss is giving me the look. You know the one. The “I’m disappointed in you” look. Ugh. So, I dive back into the numbers, but my brain’s still buzzing from the coffee. I start mixing up figures. Like, how do I go from 500 to 5,000? I’m sweating bullets.

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